Learn to distinguish, manage, and overcome relationship anxiety

 

Is relationship anxiety real?

A major complaint that modern day dating gets is that people are not ready for committed relationships or rather, they’re not emotionally available. We’ve heard of commitment phobia, but are we familiar with the phrase, analysis paralysis. 

This is where we analyze and and reflect and analyze until the cows come home and we end up paralyzed by our own analysis that we don’t make a decision and we end up doing the same thing over and over. 

Ah, relationships. They can bring joy, connection, and warmth, but they can also be a source of stress, doubt, and insecurity. Many people experience anxiety in relationships, and if you’ve ever wondered if what you’re feeling is “normal” or if relationship anxiety is a real thing, then keep reading.

What is Relationship Anxiety?

Relationship anxiety is the chronic fear or worry about the relationship’s status or the future. It might manifest as questioning if you’re with the “right” person, fear of abandonment, or constantly seeking reassurance from your partner. It can occur in any type of relationship: romantic, platonic, familial, or professional. While some degree of anxiety is common and natural, especially during the initial stages or at moments of change, persistent and intrusive worries can indicate deeper issues.

Causes of Relationship Anxiety:

Most of the times our anxiety about relationships have nothing to do with our actual partner, and more have to do with what we’ve gone through in our past. Time to take the good ‘ol mirror out and look at ourselves.

Past Traumatic Experiences:

Past relationships, especially those involving betrayal, deception, or heartbreak, can leave scars. These experiences can lead to an intense fear of history repeating itself.

Attachment Styles:

Our early relationships, especially with primary caregivers, shape our attachment styles. Someone with an anxious or avoidant attachment might find themselves experiencing higher levels of anxiety in relationships.

Low Self-esteem:

When someone lacks self-worth or confidence, they might continually seek validation from their partner, fearing that they aren’t “enough” for them.

 External Pressures:

Societal norms, peer comparisons, and even pop culture can influence our perception of what a “perfect” relationship should look like, creating unrealistic expectations. Ugh the pressure that we all have to be in a relationship from society, from our parents and maybe even our circle of friends who are all coupled off. Don’t feel like the “weird” one because you’re not in a relationship.

Is Relationship Anxiety Normal?

Every person at some point may feel uncertain about a relationship. New relationships, in particular, can be fraught with uncertainties and ‘what ifs’. However, when these anxieties interfere with the quality of the relationship or your well-being, it becomes a concern.

Overcoming Relationship Anxiety:

How do we now move on and feel better in relationships?

Open Communication:

Talk to your partner about your feelings. This not only provides reassurance but also strengthens the bond of understanding between both.

Self-awareness:

Recognizing and acknowledging your feelings is the first step. It’s okay to seek therapy or counseling to understand the root causes better

Mindfulness Practices:

Techniques like meditation or deep breathing can be beneficial in calming an anxious mind and staying present

Set Realistic Expectations:

Understand that no relationship is perfect. There will be ups and downs, but it’s essential to know what’s a deal-breaker for you and what’s a simple bump in the road.

Professional Help:

Therapists and counselors can provide tools, strategies, and perspectives to handle relationship anxieties more effectively.

In Conclusion…

Relationship anxiety is, indeed, a real thing. It’s a complex interplay of past experiences, personal insecurities, societal pressures, and more. The good news is that it’s manageable. By understanding its root causes and seeking appropriate help, one can build stronger, healthier relationships, free from the shackles of constant worry.